Written by John Lounsbury
Econintersect: GEI has learned from a highly placed confidential source that FIFA (Fédération Internationale de Football Association) has applied to the BIS (Bank for International Settlements) to become a global bank. As the institution responsible for the essential global function of transactions among footballers, football clubs and teams, football leagues, corporate sponsors and gambling establishments, FIFA seeks to be recognized as a “systemically important financial institution“, according to GEI‘s anonymous source.
Our source cited a previous occasion of large financial organizations being declared banks under similar circumstances. Specifically mentioned were the designation of Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley as commercial banks in 2008. The source said that if the two largest financial institutions previously known as investment banks could be “made banks” by family decree, then the same should be done for the only large financial institution responsible for the “protection” of football globally.
Part of the appeal from FIFA includes the restitution of all resigned and arrested officials and immediate start of negotiations with the U.S. Department of Justice and Swiss authorities for settlement payments as has been the case for other TBTF (too big to fail) banks since the Great Financial Crisis. To better enable the negotiations of settlements, FIFA intends to move headquarters from Zurich to New York, according to our source. This will make more convenient the exchange of employees between the football organization and the U.S. Department of Justice and any other regulatory agencies involved.
Picture taken of our anonymous source just as he spotted our hidden camera.
The source spoke with us using a disguised voice because he fears for his personal safety at the hands of ruthless persecutors who he failed to explicitly identify. We asked for clarification of the meaning of “persecutors”, asking if it could be interpreted as “prosecutors”. Our source refused to speak further, citing protection rights under the Fifth Amendment of the UN Charter.
Disclosure: We will report on this further as more information becomes available. No media interviews are being granted due to physical injury incurred from extending our tongue so far into our cheek.