from the Reverse Engineer, Doomstead Diner
Special News Report From Doomstead Diner 01 April 2018
It was revealed today that Elon Musk is starting a new company which will focus on Robotics and moving Human Consciouness into robotic bodies. It is called Tobor, which is Robot spelled backwards. Elon said:
“We are very excited about the future of this company. We expect to roll out the first models shortly after Goldman Sachs underwrites the IPO for $1T in 2019.”
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The Stock Market Ticker Code for the new Tobor Company is T8M.
Numerous Geriatric Billionaires have signed up and put down deposits on the Tobor Model 8 (known as “Tobor the Eight Man”), below is the list of aging Billionaires who have put down $100M deposits in order to get one of the first of Elon Musk’s robotic bodies to shift their consciousness into on SHTF Day. Here is the current list of investors according to an anomymous source (of unknown reliability):
1917: Raymond Perelman
Shahar Azran – WireImage/Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $0.9 (per Wealth-X)
Where From: America
How He Got Rich: Founder and chairman of RGP Holdings
1918: Chang Yun Chung (aka Teo Woon Tiong)
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $1.7
Where From: Singapore
How He Got Rich: Co-founder of Pacific International Lines.
1919: N/A
1920: Aloysio de Andrade Faria
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $2.4
Where From: Brazil
How He Got Rich: Inherited Banco Real from his father, and chairman of Alfa Bank.
1921: David Consunji
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $3.1
Where From: Philippines
How He Got Rich: Founder and chairman of conglomerate DMCI.
1922: Liliane Bettencourt
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $39.5
Where From: France
How She Got Rich: Heir to L’Oréal fortune.
1923: Robert Kuok
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $11.4
Where From: Malaysia
How He Got Rich: Founder of conglomerate Kuok Group.
1924: Henry Sy
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $12.7
Where From: Philippines
How He Got Rich: Founder of conglomerate SMIC.
1925: Serge Dassault
AP
Net Worth (in billions): $16.1
Where From: France
How He Got Rich: Heir to conglomerate GIMD.
1926: Hans Rausing
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $12.5
Where From: Sweden
How He Got Rich: Heir to Tetra Pak.
1927: Samuel Newhouse Jr.
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $12.1
Where From: America
How He Got Rich: Heir, and co-owner, of Advance Publications.
1928: Li Ka-shing
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $31.2
Where From: Hong Kong
How He Got Rich: Chairman of conglomerate CK Hutchison.
1929: Pallonji Mistry
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $14.3
Where From: Ireland, via India
How He Got Rich: Largest shareholder in conglomerate Tata Group.
1930: Warren Buffett
AP
Net Worth (in billions): $75.6
Where From: America
How He Got Rich: Chairman, and largest stockholder, of Berkshire Hathaway.
1931: Rupert Murdoch
AP
Net Worth (in billions): $13.6
Where From: Australia
How He Got Rich: Executive chairman of 21st Century Fox and News Corp.
1932: Donald Bren
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $15.2
Where From: America
How He Got Rich: Chairman of real estate investment firm, Irvine Company.
1933: Sheldon Adelson
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $30.4
Where From: America
How He Got Rich: Founder and chief executive of Las Vegas Sands.
1934: Pauline MacMillan Keinath
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $6.8
Where From: America
How She Got Rich: Great-granddaughter of the founder of Cargill.
1935: Charles Koch
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $48.3
Where From: America
How He Got Rich: Chairman and chief executive of Koch Industries, which was created by his father.
1936: Amancio Ortega
AP
Net Worth (in billions): $71.3
Where From: Spain
How He Got Rich: Founder and former chairman of Inditex, owner of Zara.
1937: Klaus-Michael Kuehne
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $12.4
Where From: Germany
How He Got Rich: Majority shareholder, and former chief executive, of his grandfather’s transportation firm.
1938: Phil Knight
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $26.2
Where From: America
How He Got Rich: Co-founder of Nike.
1939: Jorge Paulo Lemann
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $29.2
Where From: Brazil
How He Got Rich: Beer magnate and investor who now owns stake in Restaurant Brands International.
1940: Carlos Slim
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $54.5
Where From: Mexico
How He Got Rich: Chairman and chief executive of various holdings, including Grupo Carso.
1941: Stefano Pessina
courtesy of Walgreens Boots Alliance
Net Worth (in billions): $13.9
Where From: Italy
How He Got Rich: Chief executive and vice chairman of Walgreens Boots Alliance.
1942: Michael Bloomberg
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $47.5
Where From: America
How He Got Rich: Founder and chief executive of Bloomberg
1943: Ronald Perelman
AP
Net Worth (in billions): $12.5
Where From: America
How He Got Rich: Son of Raymond Perelman, chairman and chief executive of MacAndrews & Forbes
1944: Larry Ellison
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $52.3
Where From: America
How He Got Rich: Co-founder and chairman of Oracle.
1945: Azim Premji
AP
Net Worth (in billions): $14.9
Where From: India
How He Got Rich: Chairman of Wipro, an IT firm.
1946: Peter Woo
Getty Images
Net Worth (in billions): $10.5
Where From: China
How He Got Rich: Former chairman of Wheelock and Company, and The Wharf Holdings.
1947: Kjeld Kirk Kristiansen
courtesy of LEGO
Net Worth (in billions): $21.1
Where From: Denmark
How He Got Rich: Heir to Lego fortune, and former president and chief executive.
1948: Jim Walton
Reuters
Net Worth (in billions): $34
Where From: America
How He Got Rich: Heir to Walmart fortune.
1949: Bernard Arnault
AP
Net Worth (in billions): $41.5
Unfortunately for David Rockefeller and Steven Jobs, this new innovation came too late for them. 
When informed that a new Robot body was fully sexually capable courtesy of technology stolen from the Japanese Sexbot manufacturers, Donald Trump also dropped in his $100M to get one of the first off the production line. He added another $20M for one of the Options, an exceptionally large Robotic Penis. Lengths available for the extended Penis vary from 9″ to a full 1 foot in length. Larger version are available on custom order.
The new Penis is designed to instantly jump to an erection when in the presence of an Eastern European or Norwegian model and will maintain a Woody indefinitely, thanks to the PowerWall battery supplied by Tesla to Tobor. It will also ejaculate quarts of sperm as long as the reservoir inside the Robot is regularly refilled. A subsidiary company of Tobor, “Sperms-R-Us” will provide refill sperm containers at Low, Low Prices Every Day. You may be able to purchase further discounted sperm containers online from Amazon and Alibaba. Licensing details are still being worked out. Do not buy unlicensed Sperm Containers, you may get a bad batch.
When asked whether it was possible the new Robotic Penis might EXPLODE like numerous of the Tesla carz, Mr. Musk dismissed this possibility:
“These Batteries are fully tested and well sealed inside the body of the Robot. There is NO CHANCE these batteres could possibly EXPLODE.”
Other younger forward thinking Billionaires like Mark Zuckerberg, the Winklevoss Twins and Elon Musk himself have placed orders for their new Tobor the 8 Man shells for their consciousness, along with numerous aging but not quite geriatric Billionaires yet like Bill Gates, Paul Allen, Crispin Odey and Bill Ackman have also signed up.
Major innovations are being introduced with the new Tobor models. Carz will no longer be necessary because both of Tobor’s legs are manufactured by Mr. Musk’s Space X company, and will propel your new Robotic Body on a Ballistic trajectory to land anywhere on Earth in under an hour. You can also fly straight to Mars without any additional spacecraft necessary. SpaceX is developing Warp Drive legs that will allow you to travel between Galaxies faster than the Speed of Light. Elon Musk has predicted these new legs will be available for the 2021 models, and upgrades to older models will be available as well.
The “Heart” of the Tobor Consciouness Container as substitute for the current Meat Package is a miniature Mr. Fusion Reactor invented by Doc Brown back in the 80s, but surpressed by the Big Oil companies so they could keep selling Oil to the sheeple.
Tobors Trekking the Stars will be able to refuel at any Asteroids or Comets they run into in Interstellar Space.
When asked if the Tobor Company would be producing a madel more affordable for Joe 6-Pack, Elon nodded in the affirmative:
“Definitely. We have a Tobor the 3-Man already on the drawing board and are tooling up for it now in the new Giga-factory. Our current estimate for the price of this model is $50K. It does have some limitations though, it will only be capable of travel within this Solar System. You will need to upgrade if you want to do Interstellar travel.”
Sentiment is high on Wall Street for the launching of the new IPO, which Lloyd Blankfein sees as the Piece de Resistance of his career as CEO with Goldman prior to retirement. Lloyd said at the announcement:
“This is the first $1T IPO EVAH! We’ll really sucker the Low Hanging Fruit with this one!”
