Written by Hilary Barnes
Traditional Ponzi scheme:
Hukster proclaims: | “Hi there, Folks. If you invest in my fund, I will pay you a 20% return. It’s guaranteed! “ |
Hukster thinks: | “Just as long as more folks keep subscribing enough to keep the scheme turning over, that is, and not forgetting my personal make-me-rich take, naturally. Too bad if you folks start taking your money out, ‘cos then you’ll lose the lot” |
The inverse Ponzi scheme (Hat tip Yanis Varoufakis)
Bankster says: | “Morning, Mr Finance Minister! So I hear your government can’t pay the country’s debts? Well, now, here’s what I suggest. I’ll make you a deal: You cut government spending and raise some extra taxes. That’ll make all your creditors confident you’re doing what it takes to find the money to pay them off. |
Banskter thinks: | “Of course that will make your economy go into slump mode and you’ll have even less money to pay your debts with, but it’s not my problem if you have a trouble with elementary math.” |
Bankster says: | “Then me and the boys – OK, OK, I know the head’s a girl these days – will lend you as much as you like, just so you can go on paying back those people who bought your bonds. ‘Course, we shall have to charge interest, but that’s normal, aint it!” |
Bankster thinks: | “You poor sods! If you can’t work out that if you’re bankrupt now, you’ll be bankrupt twice over by the time this deal matures, what do we care so long as we get our cut.” |
The Editor: | “Any suggestion that any of the characters appearing in the above sketch have any resemblance to Christine Laggard, Mario de Goldman, Angela Muddlefrau or Olli Reign-of-T are completely unfounded.” |